It’s the first encounter – the first glance, that gets you all sorts of messed up. Their movement, their expressions, simply their being captivates you for some inexplicable reason; it’s like hearing that new song on the radio for the first time, so mesmerizing and so…you. For those next few days, weeks, months even, that song is stuck in your head, constantly on replay. Each time that sweet, now familiar melody comes on you light up like an overjoyed kid on Christmas morning. And every time you see those alluring eyes, which scarcely know your figure at all, you feel as if you’re looking at a long lost lover. Excitement rushes through your body as you try to contain those strange feelings of infatuation, attraction, wonder, and awe that surge your thoughts. But it’s funny, because as you feel these things, those alluring eyes turn in your direction, and your seemingly ordinary eyes dash to the floor, suddenly glossed over with a look of indifference. If only they knew.
But this pattern of emotions continues for a while, and those desired feelings that were once so riveting become intertwined with sadness as you are overcome by the reality of the impossibility of your two worlds ever colliding. It’s strange, however, because while your emotions are tainted with pain, those feelings of joy and giddy infatuation don’t quite disappear. In a paradox of emotions, you seem to question your worth. You ask, “What do I have to do for them to like me? Why can’t I ever find someone who feels the same riveting feelings that I do? Am I lovable? Why are their eyes so indifferent toward me?” But then, suddenly, as if you’ve been hit by a train of realization, you remember your eyes, and the indifference they lied about. And then you think to yourself, hesitant yet spirited, “What if their eyes are lying too?”